Thursday, March 10, 2011

Just a bit about me, and my testimony!

Many of you may now I am a Christian meaning I love the one and only God who changes lives. This didn't happen until June 2009. Some of you may know my testimony but those of you who don't...I hope it helps you see that everybody fails some time in their life. I am here to testify that there is always a chance to get back up and do what is right.
I remember always being down. I knew all I had to do was lie my way into attention. Make my life sound miserable and then I would receive the attention I needed. That is not the way it should be!! I had a hard heart and I hated the fact that everyone I knew was so happy and excited about what this "God" person was doing. I would have to admit I despised anyone who would try to speak the truth over me. That meant my parents, my brothers, family members, youth pastor’s even teachers.
I am NEVER going to forget the day my mom announced, "Jenna you are going to Fusion Bible Camp this year!" she purposely did it well I was sitting there eating spaghetti by my very own youth pastors. (Did I mention this was a fundraiser towards the camp.Yeah?)Then I found out that my youth pastor’s wife was the one that talked my mom into it all. Thanks Bre!!  I was so mad. To this day though I am so glad I went.  I was not only ready packing wise or for a WHOLE week with people who I could absolutely NOT stand to be around for the life of me. Well that changed the second I stepped on the bus to leave for this camp. I remember sitting alone on the bus, and feeling like I didn't have anyone there that saw that I was alone and needed a friend. I can't remember much of the bus ride except for the fact that I got chocolate on my pants.And I learned that my youth pastor, yes you Casey, was uber loud and hyper and talkative.  He drove me up a wall for those couple hours :).
Camp was fun. I roomed with some crazy people and I felt accepted for who I was. I had no clue that sometime during that week my life would forever be changed. I loved the worship but I never took it to heart. I also liked the pastor and his humor, but then again I didn’t take it to heart. By the third night I was soooo jealous that everyone in my cabin and youth group were having these huge life changing things happen to them and here I was with nothing out of it yet. I remember sitting in prayer which isn't required but my crazy youth pastor made us attend. I don’t even think he knows that if I hadn’t attended prayer that very night I wouldn't be where I am today. I sat there and it all really kind of got to me that the ONLY reason people were happy and having things happen to them is because they knew God and were living for the right reasons. My first thought was well I don’t know how to ask this "God" person to take my heart and my messed up life. Right then and there Alisa and Betty came up to me and asked if I wanted to accept God and I kind of nodded my head in pure shock, some what unsure and Alisa looked at me and said,” Jenna yes or no." I looked at her and said yes I want Jesus. The second they placed there hands on me I felt free to worship and free to be me. Everything clicked and made sense. Worship started and I asked God to change me, to use me, and to fill me. I was changed and so ready for what God was gonna do in my life, but I wasn’t ready for the many decisions that were to come. There were many challenges I was faced with. Some of them I have worked out and overcome. There are others I am still struggling with. I know there will be a day when I won't have to deal with these problems, God and I will be one forever.
To this day I stand firm in God. Sometimes I wonder why I did this to myself. Why should I be doing this the hard way, there is an easier way? I am here to tell you I have been there and it never works.  Guys there is a person who is there all the time for you to run to and adore. He is there running this race with you. He holds you; He catches every tear that is cried in his hard. He knows your heart, you passion and your fears. He can’t ever give you more then you can handle on your own.
Recently God has really put it on my heart that I can be a light and a witness. He has told me to reach out to the broken and the hurting. One thing you guys do not know about me is I get really bad anxiety and shut down and get shy when I have to meet someone new. Why? Because I have always wanted to be accepted and liked. I have learned that it doesn’t work that way you aren’t always accepted for who you are, there should be an obvious difference between the “average” person and a "Jesus Freak". This world will be changed one person at a time.
 This is my hearts cry. I want to be there for anyone who doesn’t have a person there for them. Guys I am here for you. This is only part of what God has done I have gone to many camps and encounters and conferences but I don’t have enough room to tell it all. I have been through a lot. I am here to tell you I am alive and made it through every part of life so far and I am not going to stop. If you want to know more about me I would like to connect with you.

1 comment:

  1. Excited and privileged to be your first "follower" Can't wait to see what God has in store for you in the blogging world! Blessings:)

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